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Catherine Andrews 15th January 2007

Justification

I've been asked to justify why I paint what I do! With some reluctance I have written the following:

The work is based on inspirations and visions and the need to express these. It's in my blood, in my genes my molding, whatever. I feel like I'm being closer to who I really am, when I paint and create.

The best way for me to express what I see is to paint it. Obviously it cannot be photographed. Like the Ascension, the Heaven of Angels. These paintings are pictures of the experiences I had.
These visions are seen from an internal or external source, or a dream state. I do this to bring forth what I think is a valid message, a thing of beauty or both.
I find expression in the facility that has been made most available to me, that is painting on canvas. (Well, to a degree as paintings never portray the quality of the real thing). This way I am able to satiate my urge to express what I have seen.
Some of the paintings are symbolic as well as visionary. If I could- had the money for the facilities for other mediums like film, computer animation, sculpture, I would happily move into those fields as well. Painting is the 2 dimensional version of a 3 dimensional experience that is in motion.

The paintings are not just "pretty pictures"- most have a message, have a meaning, some have profound meaning, and most are affirmations, to substantiate words.

Concerning the spiritual paintings: We've had thousands of years of visions of heaven in words i.e. the Bible, describing visions but there hasn't much visual backup. That's one of my jobs.

Even though the Loves of my life have given me great disappointment. Despite all that has happened to me, there have been some happy times and I do sincerely believe in Romantic Love. My paintings that are about this are for people to enjoy for their relationships. They are meant as affirmations for those in love and those looking for love.

Galleries, the established art world at least the ones I've seen, may not have wanted my work, but many people from all walks of life do. And you know what, that matters to me far more. That is plenty of justification in itself. I'd much rather be genuine artist coming from the heart where my art is my devotion and no money from my craft, than a trumped up, hyped up fake, doing bad ugly art, displaying literary trash, or inane obscure nonsense, that sells for a lot of money to buyers who buy because they've been told that this "poser" is the best new thing in the art world, spend thousands on sprawls and nonsense that a monkey could do.
Well, I do understand that everything is Art, so to frame it or display it, makes it a point to focus on. Thereby warranting appreciation and the content can be so simple or weird in its abstraction, that it gives rise to appreciation of Art within all things. That's its saving grace.

Within the paintings I have intended to have abstractions, there are hundreds of them within one painting. You can take a small section, especially in the pictures like "Opening the veil" "On the pillows of forms," "Diamond and Rose" Exhilaration" "Blue Rose" and you can see abstracts in form and color. You can build the combinations within those smaller areas of the painting to create the composition. Some paintings are compositions made up of abstractions.

Other paintings, when I paint, I don't understand them. This doesn't limit me, I still proceed with them. Usually because I have a sense of excitement with the urge to express the vision. It can take years to see some of the symbolism and meanings within the paintings.
I have through the years been asked many times to explain them. So I wrote the text on the back of each card that I produced of the picture, something of the explanation, as best able.

I honestly can say that I have not painted to make money. I've had to make money to do painting. I've had no patron, no rich boyfriend or husband supporting my efforts, in fact I've had the reverse, I've had a husband who lived off me and ran me into over a hundred thousand in debt. All my boyfriends have lived off me- except the first, (who, unfortunately disliked my work.) I'm currently fighting off an ex who thinks I owe him over $750,000 and had taken the deed to my house. If there ever was a conspiracy to stop someone doing his or her job (I do consider this to be my real job while I'm on the planet) then I've had it throw at me. Not that this any real justification to paint, but it does show that I'm totally devoted and no one is going to stop me, although they've certainly inhibited me, and tried, the ex husband with a five year divorce.

When I'm painting and it's flowing, I feel more like I'm in the moment. I feel I'm coming home; this is where I really belong. I escape the traumas of the world. Especially when painting expressions of Light. I do the work for myself, but I also have a great desire to share it. Especially if I believe it is of benefit and worth.

I live my paintings, when I paint them. That is I live through the struggles, the technical difficulties, the frustrations, boredoms, the being determined, the failures, the disappointments, the perseverance, the aspirations to create beauty, the portraying of the meaning, and the feel of what you are trying to express, the triumphs, successes and the feelings of accomplishment.

To paint what I do, I have had to struggle above an enormous amount of negativity and debilitation. It's like digging up thousands of tons of dirt and rock, processing it through heavy weight amounts of machinery, to get a few ounces of pure gold.

I have had to deal with so many mundane jobs like cleaning clothes, dishes, toilets. - When you have children, you sign yourself up for 20 years or so of being a domestic. And I've had to earn the money as well.

Apart from the demands and time consumption of everyday life, I also have a critic in my head. It has a habit of popping up when I don't need it (I'm sure this is a problem with many of us). It says things like: "you can't do this, look at that- it's stupid, your not an artist you can't paint, you've lost whatever you've had, I'd give up struggling if I were you". (I suppose this is a left over from the years of being put down by art schools, art galleries, publishers, etc, all rejection. Making me fight all the way.) I have learnt to control the critic. And I have my secret method of controlling it. Entertain it with something else going on. Well that gives you a good pointer, as to how to shut your critic up.

I don't know if learning a high degree of control with your craft acts as justification.

Currently because there has been an upsurge of this style of art I feel it's not necessary to continue to do some of this work. In the beginning it was just Joseph Parker and I, and now as there are many good and mediocre coming forth who have been inspired by this style. There is no point in doing something someone else will do. I can now move into other unchartered lands. I would like to expand into other areas.